For all of those friends, and especially family, who have turned their backs, disowned, and devalued our existence because Jasmine and I are two women who fell in love - this is my open letter to you.
I think about you often. I think about your actions and how you treat us. I think about the times you have made homophobic comments, used slang, whispered behind us because we are culturally different, or how you have chosen to put distance between us. I think about all the things in our lives that you have and will continue to miss out on.
I wonder if you will ever understand that we aren't just two women together who seem to disgust you, but instead we are two people who found love and chose love.
Here's the thing that I have learned over time and the 36 years God has given me so far. Love is never defined. We love children that aren't ours, we love physical possessions like cars or new phones, and we love our pets; some love their pets more than their own children. So I'm always very confused how those same people who can love those things and more can't seem to understand how people of the same sex, or people who aren't like them, are able to love too.
I was raised by the Bible and I know that it very often gets tossed aside for people and that's their business. I also know that it far too often gets twisted around so that it fits whomever is sending a message. Personally for me, that isn't the God I know. One verse I found years ago and tattooed very visibly on my arm is Romans 12:9 which states, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."
Think about that for a moment.
Love and the definition of it should be sincere. This is all that God wants, and it should be all we want as mankind too. Because when you strip it all away, we are all made of the same compounds that make us humans and we all have souls that live within us. So why do we choose to make happiness so difficult for others when the real problem is that you might just be unhappy with yourself.
After so many heartbreaks and relationships that I begged God to allow into fruition, I found that I only needed to ask him for one single thing. I spent years and years praying for one single thing. I simply asked God to bring someone into my life who will love me unconditionally so that I can share life with them. And I waited; for a very long time. I kept trying to make relationships (with men) work that were never meant to be, and then I met Jasmine. I took only a single moment, a simple few hours working together to know that I needed to know her and I wanted her in my life. It was that whisper that actually screamed so loud for me. I knew it was her.
My wife loves me unconditionally; the only thing I could ever want. She is always there for me without hesitation. I couldn't have imagined another human being better than her to share life with. Marriage is hard and we know that, but what makes it easy for us is because every day we choose to love each other through all the victories and through all the hurricanes. I could only hope that everyone gets to spend their lives with as much love, joy and happiness as we are experiencing.
So please, let love be and accept us and share life with us because ultimately you're missing out by harboring hate and disdain in your hearts and souls. And if our relationships with you should never improve, I'll still think about you and in a corner of my heart I will be sad for you because what you're missing with us, and what you're missing especially by knowing Jasmine, is more than I could ever put into words.
