Forgive me if I’m not at your entertainment or emotional disposal right
now. By nature I take care of others far before I take care of myself.
But there comes moments in everyone’s lives where the tides turn and we
must learn to adjust our sails in some of the worst of storms.
I took on a career that I really wanted, it was a move that I knew would helps us as our future changes and as our dreams began to take better form. But with this new position, I am working a lot more. I’m usually schedule at 48 hours a week, sometimes I work more and sometimes a little less but doing well and maintaining my hustle is what I want to do. Also, I sell jewelry - it’s retail - holidays, big and small, are enormous for us. I shouldn’t have to explain that.
I’m also, as always, still am a single parent. I’m raising a 13 year old girl who I don’t want to be an asshole in life. Even on days she's with her dad, she needs me every day because he falls short in his role. There are no breaks for me as a parent and as with my career, she’s also my main focus.
I didn’t have any time to process, grieve, or reflect on my brother’s 5 year anniversary like I wanted to because I had what was a family emergency that day for me to deal with. I have also been dealing with some very private medical issues of my own, while also having my daughter have medical issues pop up. Her health has taken priority because that’s what we do as parents and I only want her life to be the best it can be. The amount of testing she’s having to go through and the way she’s having to adjust her life to be comfortable are hard to deal with when you’re 13.
So when I’m quiet, when I’m short in conversation, and when I don’t answer your calls or texts, trust that it’s not you, it’s me. I’m never one to diminish the problems that my friends or family have but in my current perfect storm, I have to focus on me. And that, I won’t be sorry for.
So please don’t make me feel any worse when you feel neglected by my attention, please don’t make my storm about you, please don’t minimize what I am trying to work through, and please understand that what you may think I need may not actually be the case.
I took on a career that I really wanted, it was a move that I knew would helps us as our future changes and as our dreams began to take better form. But with this new position, I am working a lot more. I’m usually schedule at 48 hours a week, sometimes I work more and sometimes a little less but doing well and maintaining my hustle is what I want to do. Also, I sell jewelry - it’s retail - holidays, big and small, are enormous for us. I shouldn’t have to explain that.
I’m also, as always, still am a single parent. I’m raising a 13 year old girl who I don’t want to be an asshole in life. Even on days she's with her dad, she needs me every day because he falls short in his role. There are no breaks for me as a parent and as with my career, she’s also my main focus.
I didn’t have any time to process, grieve, or reflect on my brother’s 5 year anniversary like I wanted to because I had what was a family emergency that day for me to deal with. I have also been dealing with some very private medical issues of my own, while also having my daughter have medical issues pop up. Her health has taken priority because that’s what we do as parents and I only want her life to be the best it can be. The amount of testing she’s having to go through and the way she’s having to adjust her life to be comfortable are hard to deal with when you’re 13.
So when I’m quiet, when I’m short in conversation, and when I don’t answer your calls or texts, trust that it’s not you, it’s me. I’m never one to diminish the problems that my friends or family have but in my current perfect storm, I have to focus on me. And that, I won’t be sorry for.
So please don’t make me feel any worse when you feel neglected by my attention, please don’t make my storm about you, please don’t minimize what I am trying to work through, and please understand that what you may think I need may not actually be the case.
No comments:
Post a Comment