I always go back and forth with online dating, sometimes I'm all into it and sometimes I'm rocking myself in the corner hiding after yet another terrifying experience. The latter is where I'm at today. I tried this time, a different online dating site because somehow I let that little voice tell me that good ones are hiding, just on "different" sites. That little bitch is a liar and for that, I have learned the final lesson in online dating - just don't do it. Let me set the scene.
I recently joined a site and started talking to someone who lived in Lisle, a bit of a distance from me but then again everyone is at this point. So we started talking or rather texting and within the first two days there were red flags that I SHOULDN'T have ignored. After my last round of online dating and being completely catfished and lied to by a guy in Dekalb, I joked with this guy, we'll call him Kyle, and said "you aren't hiding any battery charges or anything are you". He laughed and said no and I asked the same about me, I told him about my DUI and we discussed it a little and the issues with Jeremy dying that brought me to that point in my life. There is one thing, I will never lie about who I am or where I've come from; it's what's shaped me into who I am today. I also told him how I then went on to get sober and things were cool from there. We talked about any drugs or alcohol, because I also found out a previous guy I was talking to was a pretty good fan of drugs and drinking which doesn't mess well with someone who is trying to be sober in life.
If you haven't caught on yet, I seriously need to stay off of online dating sites.
By day two this guy was dropping the "L" word in places where they clearly didn't belong. I worked for a while to keep him under control and not move too fast. I kept bringing up trying to go out and meet in person which was just a grueling task. He worked, but mostly I believe from home and the busiest his days got was his chiropractor appointments. As we continued to talk, he became more and more possessive, demanding, and controlling. We still hadn't met in person and I had to cross check him more than a couple of times and put him back in his place. Example, if I didn't respond to his text, whether it didn't warrant a response or I didn't respond quick enough, he would text me over and over and call me until I did respond. It was a bit much for me or for anyone at that.
So I tried on three occasions to meet up with him to no avail. Yesterday we were suppose to have lunch but once I realized we weren't going to, I sent him a text letting him know that I've tried to meet up three times and I'm done asking. A little back and forth about how I'm no longer interested in meeting up and the following exchanges took place.
At this point, he's lied about battery charges three times as well as a DUI charge. I've expressed to him at least three times that I am not interested in pursuing this anymore.
Disregard my terrible grammar in the text, my brain was working far faster than my fingers.
This is now the fourth denial of the battery charges against him.
This is about where you know it's going to go down hill very soon.
This is the first mention of an actual date by him. And his dad? Cancer? He said his dad split long ago and his mom was divorced from his abusive step dad. First mention of his dad and his dad having cancer. It's questionable and said in poor taste if it's not true. And he's a guest at a wedding this weekend. I don't know how that can be stressful.
I figured a no thank you after the three times I told him I wasn't interested anymore was polite but to the point. Man was I wrong!
1. Not an alcoholic but nice try on turning my honesty against me. 2. Not actually a slut because I wouldn't sleep with you even though you wouldn't stop trying for it. 3. Not a whore either but how very kind of you. 4. My skin?! You've NEVER met me and have limited pictures of me. What the hell is that last ditch effort?? 5. Also, is the addict word in means to my DUI because again, it's irrelevant and an improperly used term.
Ladies, let me just tell you a wee bit of advice when it comes to online dating, other than just don't do it. Google. Always Google!! No one is exempt from Google first off, second if by chance there's limited information on said person, search the county clerk records for whatever town they currently reside in. You'd be amazed at what you find. I'm sure that many find this to be way too much or creepy as Kyle called it, but I'm a single mom with a preteen daughter, there isn't any way I wouldn't be searching all over the internet to find out who someone is. And case in point, this bold face liar right here. If he was this verbally abusive with someone he didn't really know, I can't even begin to imagine what a relationship would have been like with him. I for sure would have, at some point, been stabbed 112 and had my body set on fire by him. I refuse to be a headline on Dateline.
As I went to bed last night, I laid my head down and felt a sliver of the old me deep down inside that questioned why I wasn't crying after someone was so horribly mean to me. Then I realized that who I was so long ago, how I let words effect me, is no longer who I am today. People like this, no matter how disgusting they are don't deserve my tears, frustration, nor pain. He's a fart in the wind and my life will continue to be beautiful and joyous without him in it. I wish him well but I hope that no woman ever falls victim to his behavior.
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