I don't ever like to discuss him anymore because it's a waste of my time and energy, but you know there are always those jaw dropping moments that I just have to share because the ignorance behind them renders me almost speechless.
Let's start at the beginning of today.
My mind has been with my family today. We're Stuber's so you know, we're okay, we're always okay. We could be staring at death and we're fine. Just let us go home and be about our business. We're stubborn. That's all, just stubborn and tough. We're German, what else do you expect from us. So my Uncle has a heart attack this morning. It's the fourth time he's had chest pains like this except this time he threw up. So eh, probably should go get it checked out. Ahhhhhh!! I can't do this right now. My whole family is "fine" and that's all I say and that's all they say and it's not fine. None of it is fine. I'm suffocating in thoughts, thoughts of Jeremy, thoughts of how deep down my Aunt has got to be scared and his kids, and now he has a brand new grandson. I saw my Dad today, I mean I had talked to him on the phone but people hear me out, you do not even know the slightest of what someone feels or thinks over the phone, in text, or behind your computer. Get face to face. DO IT. I saw my Dad, his face said everything his words weren't. Me, I don't even want to leave my room because then someone might see in my face and eyes what my words aren't saying.
Sometimes the world just stops for a while.
So this afternoon I get a text from Delila. Here's snip-it for you.
Now, I don't entirely blame my daughter for asking for something that cost $500, she's always gotten some pretty spot on gifts from me and I've always made an enormous deal out of her birthday. Her life will always be celebrated, but as she gets older, I'd like for her to start realizing not only the concept of money, but the situations surrounding her. Ew, have I really sheltered her too much?! So that text conversation was brief but I just heard from her again about it. 1. I have no idea what that thing even is & 2. I have been working on other things and haven't investigated it. So she asks me again for it, she asks me to use my child support for it. I asked her if she asked her dad for one and she did. He told her to spend her child support money on something she wants.
Yes. Here comes the ignorant part. Here's his blast. Here's the truth.
Last year Don made just shy of $95,000 for the year. Yeah, read that again. That's what he filed for on taxes. He then usually gets back a refund between 6-8,000 when he files taxes.
I am the only one he pays child support to.
He brings home about $800 per week (give or take). That's if he doesn't work overtime which is time and a half, which he usually does work.
He makes more in one week than I receive in a whole month of child support.
He recently got my child support cut in half from the increase I got in October after not asking for an increase in 6 years previous to that.
Now, money these days does not rule my world. In fact it's the last thing on the list of things I care about, which is frankly driving my family crazy; maybe it's time to be a gypsy. But when one parent is so far above the other financially, why in the world would you tell the child to ask for expensive gifts from the less financially off parent? I'll tell you why.
Even when I was in Accounting and making decent money, Don always did this 'one up' game with me. He would always try to buy the bigger, better gifts. At the end, my daughter knows who is buying her off and who is raising her. But Don is still out to prove to Delila that I am a "deadbeat" as he loves to call me.
All of this is fine. There's that word again, 'fine'. It really is fine because in 10 years, I've given my daughter what he hasn't. Love, support, encouragement, and memories. Buying her love only lasts for the moment he has her, after that, what's left between him and her?
Keep doing you Don, I'll keep doing me. You have zero impact on my life anymore.
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