The perfection of loving your body

I would love to tell my teenage self that the day will come when I will love my body. That my existence and my worth are not measured by the numbers on a scale. I want to tell her that constantly comparing myself to others is the most effective way to destroy myself and keep me from ever evolving, ever loving, and ever succeeding in most areas of my life. I want to tell her that controlling eating disorders is not something to be proud of but instead control things that will positively influence my life. Run, walk, climb; do anything other than kill yourself with the toxicity of never being able to reach "perfection" which doesn't at all exist. 

I don't know if it's a 'coming to age' in your thirties, I don't know if it's something about raising a preteen girl, but whatever the case may be, I have found that I love my body. A little over a year ago, I weighed less than I ever have and I accomplished it in a healthy manner. Today, I weigh more than I ever have and I'm getting back on track to bringing that number down some. The key to both those points in my life is that heavy or light, I love my body. My self image isn't perfect, there are of course things I'd like to change, but I don't destroy myself with the thoughts that I had for years upon years. I don't make myself miserable or those around me because I'm fighting off demons inside. 

For years I let demons control me, which in turn allowed me to control the only thing I thought I could; my weight and my food. I then let baggage from a controlling ex control me for years, I let the fear, the intimidation, and the abuse control me. Not a whole lot of my life is a secret to those close to me, I cannot be ashamed of where I've been. There's been reasons for it all. The greatest of this is as I get older, those things don't control me anymore. Outside forces will not force me into being someone I am not meant to be. 

There is no perfect body, there are no perfect boobs, there isn't a perfect relationship, and there is no perfect family. The only perfection in life that you can achieve is loving you for exactly who you are; who you are in this moment, who you will be next week, and who you will be a year from now. No matter how you may change, as long as you're changing for the better, that is what's perfect in life. The perfection of loving yourself. 

I know that my daughter struggles with how she looks. I know some of this has to do with family, I know some of this has to do with age, I know some of it has to do with school, and I know some of it has to do with society. However, that child will always be perfect to me. She is beautiful and loved, and there isn't a moment that goes by that I don't remind her of that. I know I can't stop the world from pressuring down on her, but I can be here to continually build her up so that she will love herself long before she reaches her thirties.