At five feet, three inches, I have broken you, abused you, mutilated you, starved you, and fed you to excess. I have done that and so many more horrible things, and through it all you've stuck by me and have yet to fail me. Instead what you have done is taught me a great deal about myself. You've taught me that no matter the scars I bear, the weight I lose, or the weight I carry, that I am each and every day stunningly beautiful just the way I am.
You've taught me that even under crushing criticism from others, nothing else matters as long as you and I are together as one and loved as one. I spent too many years battling you instead of working with you, I let others tell me what was "wrong" with you and what I should "fix". I spent years magnifying you under a microscope that wasn't lead by my own heart and mind but instead by the hateful words of others. And for that, I am terribly sorry.
I know that I will always be too skinny or too fat, I know that I will either be not strong enough or either too strong, and I know that I'll never fit into a mold that will make the person happy who has a voiced opinion; but I will day in and day out from now on love you, I will love you and I will love us together because God has made me so very perfect just the way that I am.
Whether I am 100 pounds or 150 pounds, because we've been both in the past couple of years and have felt the hate on both ends, I promise to no more repeat the past and treat you so poorly. I will also work my hardest to show my daughter and all young women around me that our beauty standards as women are not defined or limited to the bodies we are born into. Our beauty is defined by how we approach the world, others, and how we treat humanity. Our beauty is within our creativity, our eagerness to learn, and our knowledge to do better in the world.
I refuse to be influenced by the opinions of others and instead, live my life to the fullest, in the light and out of the shadows.
Thank you for putting up with me.
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