Recently my daughter and I took our 2016 Summer vacation and it was a blast. Our sole purpose of the trip was to get away, see friends in Arizona, and visit California where she's been talking about going to college for at least a year. Neither of us had ever been to California so we were very excited to see the state, and to say it was insightful and beautiful would be an understatement. Our vacation felt much too short and left our hearts longing to make our home out west some day where the sun is almost always shining. As we returned home, I was able to share our vacation stories with friends and family alike.
My mission as a parent has always been to put my child first (many say it but few do it), I want her to be a positive contribution to society when she grows up, and ultimately I don't want to raise an asshole. I have strived to produce a parenting style different than my own upbringing. While I still see some reflections of my parents at times, I also know that what was then just won't do for what my life is now. One very important thing I took away from my childhood was to instill the importance of education into my child(ren) so that they knew that having to struggle as an adult isn't mandatory but an option provided that choices you make throughout your life. My daughter has always done very well in school and I want to continue to see her go down that path. Since she was about 8 or so, she's been talking about how she wants to be a Graphic Designer when she grows up. Art is something that she's always loved and has been good at. I love seeing her creative side grow.
Once I realized that her job desire wasn't wavering, I started talking to her about colleges. Something that shamefully enough, I don't know a whole lot about; but I'm grateful for friends who do. As we started talking about them, we also started looking into them. It's not anything that is time consuming but over the years, we've visited states and sometimes campuses to get a feel for the environment that she may or may not be dwelling in one day. It's been such a very cool thing for us to be able to do together.
So with that being said, if one more person, especially those without any children, have the audacity to ridicule me or my daughter for looking at or discussing colleges at 11 - I may just lose my shit.
The above picture popped up in my feed on Facebook this week and it couldn't have been more perfect timing for what's been swimming around in my thoughts for the past couple of weeks. Now yes, this child is exceptionally gifted to be attending college at 11, however I can almost bet that his parents did absolutely everything they could to support his continual growth.
I feel like if I don't do my job as a parent and educate my daughter on everything good the world has to offer, she may end up thinking that settling in life is all there is to do. I want her to know that hard work will take you farther than being lackadaisical. I want her to know that pebbles she drops into life's ocean today will have a ripple effect far beyond the years she can see ahead. I want to set the bar high for her so that even if she only reaches it half way, she's still a success either way.
After our trip I asked her if she still wanted to attend college in California. She said she didn't really want to, while some of the scenes are breathtaking, there's a lot to it that is just too much and frankly just not her cup of tea. We took a good tour around ASU and she saw a lot of what Arizona had to offer, and true to form, she's like her mother and Arizona very quickly won over her heart.
I know there's still a few more years to go until she graduates, but I'm grateful for these moments I get to share with her. I'm grateful that I have the opportunities to travel with her and to show her what's really out there in the world for her to one day discover on her own. I've also learned that when she makes a decision like changing her mind on states to attend colleges in, she's put some real thought into it. So it's incredibly disheartening to me that people I keep close in my life would say the things I've been hearing since we've returned. Some have downright raised their voices in very opinionated protest, about how ridiculous it is for an 11 year old to be looking at, let alone talking about or making decisions on colleges.
This is my child, I've raised her for nearly 12 years day in and day out, and I think if anyone was to know what's right or not right for her it would be me. So please, if you have an opinion on something like me pushing college, do me a solid and shut your mouth. As I said originally I won't raise an asshole, which also means that I won't raise a child who grows up to think she's entitled to something she hasn't worked for or earned. There are far worse things that parents impose upon their children, and frankly I cannot ever see college being on that list.
My daughter is very much like me, almost too much at times. Except she's turning out to be an even better version and for that, I am incredibly blessed.
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