The Gray Area

I laid there wrapped in my emotions like a heated blanket on a cold winter's day. I was engulfed in the darkness of the night with just the smallest light peaking in through the window. My body was heavy but completely numb, while my mind couldn't pick any one space, moment, or memory to be in. All I could wonder is who else was out there experiencing just the same. How many were soaking their pillows in tears right alongside me with the weight of loss and confusion, maybe even in thoughts of their own anguish. 

You can feel the weight of death as it crushes your chest. It's never just one thing but it's a million. The whys and what ifs, the could have beens and the never agains. The pain, the loss, the memories, the love; it's all just sitting on you, it's all swirling in your mind, consuming every ounce of you, but not you alone. Everyone is there with you, it's doing it to all of us. It's bringing back pain from the past, making scars rip open and wounds incredibly fresh. You could say your heart is bleeding again in pain but we all know that it's so broken that no actual blood feels like it's even flowing from it. 

People die. I know that and so do you. But how we die always seems to be the news. The truth happens and only the Lord knows it, but if you ask outside there's an opinion that was never asked for being spoken. There's a million ways to die but even the most innocent accident could be view as an intentional departure to the ones that need a story the most. I don't care how someone died. The manner of their death doesn't impact the value of their life.

When someones light goes out, who is anyone to speak poorly about it. You never stood where they were, walked their path or held their pain. Yes someone may leave behind family, friends, even children but you don't get to judge their story and you most certainly don't get to judge their ending. Everyone seems to want to have an opinion but while you're voicing yours that shouldn't have been ringing out, it's making that crushing weight of death even worse for those in mourning. 

I know we were raised better but somewhere along the line we have forgotten to respect the dead. We lost sight of shutting our mouths if we didn't have anything nice to say, and remembering that life, whether thriving in front of you or now an empty shell, still holds the maximum amount of value to someone, even if that isn't you. 

Keep some sense and just let souls rest, let hearts mourn, and let's remember that not every moment in life needs an opinion attached to it. 

The years will pass but the memories won't fade, so if you feel like you need to condemn someone because of the manner of their death, just remember you were never them. You weren't in that moment, and you have zero idea of what that final moment was for them.