May the Poor be Creative, and the Rich be Humble

Around the water cooler there is talk about how shallow women are that they only want a man who is well established. "She won't even look at someone who isn't making bank, driving a new car, and owns his own place." Women are gold diggers, only looking for someone to save them, always looking for someone to fix them, there aren't any good women left; and so on. Then I see women who show interest in men who are not necessarily these things. I see women who know where a man is in his life, they see his struggles, they understand that romance isn't and won't be $200 dinners; yet these women are rejected.

There never is a short on confusion when it comes to trying to figure out the opposite sex. I wonder if a lot of this has to do with the whole idea that both sexes have fallen out of sync with each other, and the roles they play in order to balance out each other. Go back with me to about the 1950's; women knew their roles, and men knew theirs. A woman was to stay home, take care of the home, her children, and her husband. To be presentable herself, to have the home presentable, and have dinner ready for when her husband returned was what she was to do. Men, they went to work, they took care of the bills, they took care of their families, they used their own hands to fix things, and they protected. It was a very careful balance and I know it didn't always work, but it also worked very well a lot of the time. And then the Miss Independents started to evolve. 

I am not in any way against a woman being independent of a man, I myself have been fully functioning without a man for the majority of my life. I do however, know that secretly hidden in my core is that woman from the 1950's if only those same men still existed. Regardless, for the longest time women pushed men away, they wanted to prove not only to themselves but to everyone that they in fact could and would do it on their own. So many women succeeded at this, and so many continue to do so. It's an important lesson to teach our daughters as we never know what path in life they will take. What I don't like seeing though is how hypocritical men can be towards women as a whole.

On a intimate level, I know that I've turned men off and away by being too independent. I hate asking for help even when I know I need it. I will very reluctantly accept it when it comes my way. I simply am use to doing it on my own that I don't want anyone to tell me that I can't. I also know that when it comes to getting to know a guy, I am one very accepting woman of what he may and may not have to offer. Life isn't always easy, for some the chips happen to fall pretty perfectly into place, and for others, the fight. They fight to survive from the beginning to the very end of their lives. Life is fickle like that.

I have learned, and what I would like for others who haven't made it to this point yet to learn, is that to find love, you cannot be so narrow minded. You can't live inside a box in your mind and expect someone to fit perfectly into it. We will never be a perfect society, we will only be perfect in love. I have dated and loved in the six figures and I have dated and loved in the minimum wage. Money does not create love nor does it solidify it. How we treat each other, how we accept each other, and how we build up each other, is how we will succeed in finding love, creating love, and solidify love. And not just with each other, but also for ourselves. Look beyond your blinders of perfect bodies, beyond your blinders of large bank accounts, look beyond the barriers that are holding you back from finding a good woman; or a good man for what it's worth. You don't have to throw out all the things you'd like to find in a partner but be willing to see a pearl that may still be hiding in an oyster.