I don't think any one person is exempt from experiencing abuse in some form or fashion. Whether it be a dating partner or spouse, a relative, a friend, a stranger, or your employer. More often than not, the abuse is hidden and the smiling face at the forefront is doing their best to live with the abuse. It's heartbreaking to see people stay in those situations, not because they choose to, but because they are fearful of life beyond that. The abuse controls them and leads them to believe that they can't escape it, that they can't survive without whomever the abuser is.
So how do you live with the abuse? How do you sleep at night, function day to day, and how do you find the will to breathe? It boils down to how strong your survival mode is. We all have our reasons why we would stay when we're so completely beaten down, but at some point, you either ride or you die. The choice is yours.
Personally I'm no stranger to abuse. It stems as far back as my childhood, however at some point you can't allow that to ruin your adulthood. I've been abused and beaten down by my daughter's father for the last 11 years even though none of which we've been together for. And now, I work for an abusive employer. All but the last one I've been able to deal with and move on from. It's the last one, work, where I feel stuck.
Any abuse I experienced from my childhood has been addressed with all parties, some apologized and we were able to move on, others can't accept the reality and therefore, I've moved on and won't allow them in my life. And while the first very many years after I left my daughter's father seemed like I would never make it out alive, I did and I've learned how to stand strong against him and his ways. I've learned how to empower myself far beyond my own expectations.
However, when it comes to working for abusive employers, let's be honest, there are more of them than we could ever account for. And rightfully so, they sign our paychecks, they determine our quality of living, and they hold so much power over us. So, how do you live with the abuse?
You can work on moving on, finding new employment, but how easy is that. I know for me, work has always been determined on the proximity of my daughter, her school, and her daycare. Unlike her father, I cannot bring myself to think about my needs alone and every single thing I do revolves around her. There should just be a level of respect from those above you, especially if what you do for them is above and beyond what you should do and what others of the same position do for them. It's hard for me to see friends in the same positions with their jobs, seeing the things they do, to only be broken down by those above them.
There isn't any real point to being a bully, abusive, or a jerk. Where does that get you? We all have bad days where our most unpleasant sides come out to play, but when you're regularly the source of someone else's discomfort in life, only YOU are truly the problem. Right now, there is a lot of discomfort in my life due to where I work, enough to impact me physically. I am usually the first one out the door when I'm not happy in any given situation, I know life is too valuable to waste it on being unhappy, but for now I feel stuck. Any time I'm ready to walk, there is an incentive to stay but I feel like each incentive is only one more way for them to assert just a little more abuse than before. It's a vicious cycle that won't end until I end it.
But God doesn't give us perfect lives, He hasn't ever for me. What He has given me is the ability to almost always find the silver lining even on the darkest of days, He's given me strength and perseverance. For me, He's given me opportunities; opportunities to learn and grow. I know that there's something to be said for being able to make it through any difficult situation, I just wish that at some point, I could be where I want. At peace moving to the beat of my own drummer.
You can work on moving on, finding new employment, but how easy is that. I know for me, work has always been determined on the proximity of my daughter, her school, and her daycare. Unlike her father, I cannot bring myself to think about my needs alone and every single thing I do revolves around her. There should just be a level of respect from those above you, especially if what you do for them is above and beyond what you should do and what others of the same position do for them. It's hard for me to see friends in the same positions with their jobs, seeing the things they do, to only be broken down by those above them.
There isn't any real point to being a bully, abusive, or a jerk. Where does that get you? We all have bad days where our most unpleasant sides come out to play, but when you're regularly the source of someone else's discomfort in life, only YOU are truly the problem. Right now, there is a lot of discomfort in my life due to where I work, enough to impact me physically. I am usually the first one out the door when I'm not happy in any given situation, I know life is too valuable to waste it on being unhappy, but for now I feel stuck. Any time I'm ready to walk, there is an incentive to stay but I feel like each incentive is only one more way for them to assert just a little more abuse than before. It's a vicious cycle that won't end until I end it.
But God doesn't give us perfect lives, He hasn't ever for me. What He has given me is the ability to almost always find the silver lining even on the darkest of days, He's given me strength and perseverance. For me, He's given me opportunities; opportunities to learn and grow. I know that there's something to be said for being able to make it through any difficult situation, I just wish that at some point, I could be where I want. At peace moving to the beat of my own drummer.
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