I have learned in life that when I make a decision, no matter what, I need to stick to it. Whether the end result is good or bad, and if I'm given the right to make the decision I also need the take hold of the responsibility to follow it all the way through. The problem is that when I make decisions for my life but they effect others, they can't see their faults within that process. That's problematic for society.
This week I made the decision to leave my job for another one. Same industry, however they are run two completely different ways. I knew I couldn't be irrational in my decision, I knew I couldn't make a decision solely based on emotion, but I also knew that come hell or high water a decision needed to be made. I've been at my company for nearly a year, when I signed on I was so excited for the projection of the company as it was presented to me. I busted my ass every day to prove my worth, to see that the company succeed, and to fulfill the projection I was presented with when I started. Every month was a new promise with a new responsibility, I would fulfill my end but the promises were never kept. My days were becoming a consistent struggle to successfully do my job and not lose my mind in the process.
My final straw came about a couple weeks ago. February 18 I was granted a week of vacation time that I wanted and needed to take with my daughter set for the week of June 13. About a week before my vacation they started to ask me to come in during those days I had off due to others wanting to be gone as well. Up to the Friday before I was still being asked but I wouldn't and I couldn't. My time with my daughter was already set in stone with her father and I wasn't about to change that. I've learned to keep him on a short leash or else he becomes feral. I took my vacation and then came back a week later to being put on probation for 60 days. I wasn't allowed to know why other than the following reasons of: no less than five customers complained about me, there's a rumor I was looking for another job, and I shouldn't have been allowed to take a week off. I was never allowed to know what the "complaints" were but instead was just told to fix it. I wasn't in fact looking for a job but instead while I was at home, my boss went into my indeed account where I listed all of our job postings for the company and listed one for my position; problem was for him, while I was at home monitoring my emails making sure that my customers were being taken care of, those resumes were coming in to me instead of him. And ultimately I was being punished for actually taking my vacation and not working like they wanted me to at the last minute. It was at that moment I started looking for another job.
I went against my moral compass and posted a small plea to Facebook. I no longer like to put too much out there especially when it comes to work if it's in the negative sense, but I also know that God always has a way of working things out. So there it was, a little bit of my frustration but also the beginning of my betterment. I spent what felt like forever negotiating with a new company but one that I feel comfortable and familiar with. As the time went on, current work became worse by the day and not because you may think I checked out but because management was really starting to impose power trips that they legally just couldn't. I however was completely paralyzed by the thoughts of do I stay imprisoned in the abuse or do I jump ship and start over again. No one ever really enjoys starting over in any area of life. So I reached out to my sister. She is a great sounding board but more importantly I don't know anyone who knows me better than her. We had a long discussion and weighed all the options, I then spent a lot of time in prayer about it, and I mean a lot, and I slept on it. By the end of my week I was ready. I will always trust in the direction that the Lord takes me no matter how much I'm not sure of where it's going.
On Friday I submitted my letter of resignation which with this company is just an immediate firing by them because they're so power hungry that everything needs to be on their terms. I then submitted the following reasons as to why I was leaving; due to the overwhelming verbal abuse, the inconsistencies in procedures, the exponential poor management, and continual threats amongst a laundry list of other things, I have submitted my letter of resignation. I've put a lot of thought and consideration into this but clearly the company cannot survive with (said President) at the helm. The work environment is so beyond hostile and toxic that it has greatly put my sobriety in jeopardy.
So far what has followed are just accusations that I have things going on in my personal life that are influencing all of this. This takes full circle back to what I said in the beginning that the problem with society is that they cannot and will not accept their roles in the downfall of situations. My "personal life" was never much to be shared inside those walls, and said life is actually pretty damn great on all accords. So for someone or anyone to say that I'm having things go on, makes them sound like complete morons.
Tomorrow we will all celebrate our independence, some of us more-so than others. It's the start of a new week for me, a week with a company I can grow in and thrive in, and a week of new and endless possibilities for my life. So before you put that M80 in your hand or win at beer pong for the 5th time in a row and drive home, just remember that no matter what decisions you make in your life, be fully prepared to follow them through all the way to the end. Please don't do either of those!
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